NEWS
& POLITICS: July 28


July 28, 2003
Ms. Lola Burnett
Director of Communications
Human Rights Committee
256 7th Avenue 13th Floor
New York, NY 10001
RE: Human Rights Cat
Dear Ms. Savitt:
There are 9,999,000 people who surround you on a daily basis. Are
they out to get you? No, far from it, they are your potential allies!
Now, 100% of these 9,999,000 people probably know who Smokey the
Bear is, and as a result, they know about the dangers of forest
fires. The irony of this is that forest fires do not affect these
people in the least -- have you seen a forest on Staten Island lately?
The point is that knowledge of the issue is all based on the Power
of the Mascot, and that through such means, this knowledge can be
spread and learned even without any discernable context.
This brings us to human rights. Fortunately, most of the aforementioned
9,999,000 people experience no human rights violations on a daily
basis. How then to engage in successful outreach about human rights
issues? Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand tradition of Smokey the
Bear, Woodsy the Owl, and McGruff the Crimedog (and to a lesser
extent, the San Diego Chicken), I give you Human Rights Cat, the
future of your organization's community relations.
Enclosed you will find a sketch of this soon-to-be-beloved soon-to-be
icon. He has the smile and fur that kids as well as the child in
every adult will love, but upon closer inspection, look out! There's
a black eye courtesy of union busters, a bandage thanks to unsafe
work conditions, and empty pockets due to unfair wages. Human Rights
Cat is loveable but real, inevitably inspiring the question, "Who
would do this to you, Human Rights Cat?" Now that's what I
call successful outreach!
One great aspect of HRC (Human Rights Cat) is that there's more
than the two-dimensional version of our feline hero that you're
currently viewing. Imagine if you will an inflatable HRC dotting
embassy sidewalks throughout the Upper East Side, or a man-in-costume
HRC signing autographs on a flatbed trailer in a Wal-Mart parking
lot? Word about vital human rights issues would get out to the people,
and the liberal corner-dwellers of the ivory tower could finally
celebrate the human rights struggle with the American proletariat,
all thanks to that irrepressible HRC!
Hip like Riff Raff, respected like Top Dog, smart like Garfield,
maligned like Azrael, but with the social conscience of Susan Sarandon,
Human Rights Cat cannot be ignored.
Please contact me immediately (via e-mail is best) about the future
of human rights outreach.
Sincerely,
Jerry Butler
President
Vertigo Marketing NYC
jbutler@vertigo.com
About
Matthew Kantor
Matthew Kantor recently published "The
Clinic Presents The Elysian Condition." Write
him at twentytwelve@hotmail.com for your copy.
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