Gusto Home
News and Politics Arts and Media Columns Community About Submit Store Newsletter
SEARCH GUSTO

Powered by Google
CARTOONS
BOASAS
Steven Cloud
Boy on a Stick and Slither [Daily]
BIG FAT WHALE
Brian McFadden
More Political Clout than Nascar Dads?
CAT AND GIRL
Dorothy Gambrell
Kitty Porn
THE ARCADE
Song
"(Our Love) Don't Throw It All Away": Greg Peterson's improbable (but strangely compelling) Bee Gees cover [grgptrsn.com]
. . . .
Video
What girl wouldn't want a gay boyfriend? [Ryan McFaul]
. . . .
Flash
George W. Bush's visit to London -- mapped in Flash! [guardian.co.uk]
. . . .
Audio
Sarah Vowell describes the "greatest love story of the 20th century" -- between Johnny Cash and June Carter. [thislife.org]
. . . .
Flash
Hilarious Strong Bad answers his e-mail. [homestarrunner.com]
. . . .
Games
Many simple, cute games to occupy your attention. [orisinal.com]
. . . .
Site
Getting extreme with wheelbarrows. [wheelbarrowfreestyle.com]
. . . .
Interview
Filmmaker Todd Haynes talks to Elvis Mitchell about Douglas Sirk [kcrw.org]
. . . .
Flash Quiz
Do you believe your senses? [BBC]
. . . .
Song
Yo La Tengo's commercial for Coca-Cola? [yolatengo.com]
. . . .
Flash
Animate the human body [vectorlounge.com]
. . . .
Web Archive
The Way Back Machine: time travel the web... all the way back to 1996 [Archive.org]
. . . .
Video
Eric Schlosser talks about "Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs and Cheap Labor" [Book Notes]
. . . .
Animation
A robot cowboy sings Hank Williams' "Ramblin Man" [Augenblick Studios]
SHAMELESS GU$TO STORE
DVD

cover cover
cover cover
cover cover
cover cover
cover

Books

cover cover
cover cover
cover cover
cover cover

Music

cover cover
cover cover

 

NEWS & POLITICS: July 28


July 28, 2003

Ms. Lola Burnett
Director of Communications
Human Rights Committee
256 7th Avenue 13th Floor
New York, NY 10001

RE: Human Rights Cat

Dear Ms. Savitt:

There are 9,999,000 people who surround you on a daily basis. Are they out to get you? No, far from it, they are your potential allies! Now, 100% of these 9,999,000 people probably know who Smokey the Bear is, and as a result, they know about the dangers of forest fires. The irony of this is that forest fires do not affect these people in the least -- have you seen a forest on Staten Island lately? The point is that knowledge of the issue is all based on the Power of the Mascot, and that through such means, this knowledge can be spread and learned even without any discernable context.

This brings us to human rights. Fortunately, most of the aforementioned 9,999,000 people experience no human rights violations on a daily basis. How then to engage in successful outreach about human rights issues? Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand tradition of Smokey the Bear, Woodsy the Owl, and McGruff the Crimedog (and to a lesser extent, the San Diego Chicken), I give you Human Rights Cat, the future of your organization's community relations.

Enclosed you will find a sketch of this soon-to-be-beloved soon-to-be icon. He has the smile and fur that kids as well as the child in every adult will love, but upon closer inspection, look out! There's a black eye courtesy of union busters, a bandage thanks to unsafe work conditions, and empty pockets due to unfair wages. Human Rights Cat is loveable but real, inevitably inspiring the question, "Who would do this to you, Human Rights Cat?" Now that's what I call successful outreach!

One great aspect of HRC (Human Rights Cat) is that there's more than the two-dimensional version of our feline hero that you're currently viewing. Imagine if you will an inflatable HRC dotting embassy sidewalks throughout the Upper East Side, or a man-in-costume HRC signing autographs on a flatbed trailer in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Word about vital human rights issues would get out to the people, and the liberal corner-dwellers of the ivory tower could finally celebrate the human rights struggle with the American proletariat, all thanks to that irrepressible HRC!

Hip like Riff Raff, respected like Top Dog, smart like Garfield, maligned like Azrael, but with the social conscience of Susan Sarandon, Human Rights Cat cannot be ignored.

Please contact me immediately (via e-mail is best) about the future of human rights outreach.

Sincerely,

Jerry Butler
President
Vertigo Marketing NYC
jbutler@vertigo.com


About Matthew Kantor

Matthew Kantor recently published "The Clinic Presents The Elysian Condition." Write him at twentytwelve@hotmail.com for your copy.

Talk funny at the The Water Cooler

Masthead  |  Contributors' Guidlines | Friends

All material copyright 2003 original authors