I've had a rough week and it has nothing to do with the Liza Minelli/David Gest split or my 47-inch pregnant belly. I'm afraid I'm developing a new celebrity crush - one that I'm embarrassed to admit: Colin Farrell. Until recently, I've been pretty vehement in my disdain for Colin and his fake "bad boy" image. I felt justified in my feelings because my Irish friend, Lisa, always went on and on about what a wanker he was and how he made her "embarrassed to be Irish."

Lisa was back in Ireland recently and saw Colin in the flesh. She breathlessly reported back to me that he was quite possibly the hottest man she had ever seen. That's all it took for me to give in to my repressed feelings of lust. Hence, I have amended my celebrity boyfriends list from last week.
1. Colin Farrell
2. Eminem
3. Johnny Knoxville
4. George Clooney

You'll notice that Eminem has moved up to the #2 spot (see story below) and Joaquin Phoenix is off the list. Joaquin just doesn't have the staying power to remain on my list. Is there anyone you think I'm missing? Who's on your list? Drop me a line and let me know.

I want to apologize up front for the heavy up on Bennifer gossip this week. However, they've had a stellar week and I couldn't resist any of the items below.

Is "Bennifer" headed for splitsville? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's very public relationship is very much on the rocks because of the bombshell allegations in the new issue of the National Enquirer that Ben was cavorting with strippers, says a source who knows the couple well.

"It's not really the strip club that's the problem," says the insider. "It's all the sordid details about taking the girls back to (Christian Slater's) house and what they did with them there. This relationship had issues before this article came out, and I think those details are going to make Jennifer snap. They may be making some public appearances together to promote their movie 'Gigli' but it's going to be tough."

The article also alleges that cocaine and booze were available at the party - although it never says they were used by Affleck, who had a highly-publicized stint in rehab.

Affleck's lawyer has denied the story, calling it "totally false." "Jennifer is furious and humiliated, but in a way, I think it's the best thing that could happen to Ben," says the source. "What he needs is six months or so to get away from the media circus surrounding his romance and his disaster of a movie. He needs to take a close look at his life. I see this as a cry for help from Ben."

A spokesman for Affleck says, "My comment about this is the same comment I've been giving all along about this story, it's all complete garbage." (msnbc.com)

Honestly, isn't this an even better reason than the strippers to dump him? And don't forget about the toupee he wears!!

Has Ben Affleck been dipping into the freebies at L'Oreal? The "Gigli" star and new face of L'Oreal cosmetics overseas hit the red carpet Sunday with fiancée Jennifer Lopez, and people in the crowd were buzzing that Affleck's face seemed to be slathered in make-up. "IT LOOKED to me like he was wearing more foundation than Jennifer," one onlooker tells The Scoop.

"It was an afternoon event, and in the sunlight especially, his face looked really orange. It was creepy. We kept expecting him to look into the camera and say, 'Because I'm worth it.'"

When asked about his client's make-up routine, a rep for Affleck said, "No, I don't have a comment on the allegation that he was wearing a lot of makeup." (msnbc.com)

JHo and Ben will never work together again?? Promise?!

Superstar couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are so distraught at the critical backlash to their movie Gigli that they have vowed never to work together again. Sources close to the twosome - who met and fell in love on the set of the gangster comedy - say that although in public they have defended the flick, behind closed doors Latina lovely J.Lo is very upset at the bad press. And the sexy pair believe their incredible fame and the gossip surrounding their upcoming marriage doomed the movie to failure before it was released. A source says, "Ben's brushing it off but J.Lo's taking it personally. They've admitted their relationship is more of a hindrance than a boost to a movie." However, fans will get one more chance to see them sizzle on screen together in Kevin Smith's upcoming movie Jersey Girl, which will be released in February. (imdb.com)

I'm bringing you Justin-Cameron gossip, but I don't really care about them. Is it just me or do you guys think this is a boring pair, as well?

Cameron Diaz is spending her summer vacation on tour with her new man, Justin Timberlake. The "Charlie's Angels Full Throttle" star was with the singer in Miami last week and is now in Chicago with him. "They are staying at the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago and make out all the time in the lobby," said our spy. Timberlake's rep said: "Today we're gloating about seven MTV music video award nominations. If it's not about that, we're not commenting." (Page Six)

Diaz - who was wearing a tight black tank top and an army fatigue hat - skipped the opening act performance by Christina Aguilera, but appeared with an unidentified male during Timberlake's first song. And, says the source, Diaz sat in the audience with Timberlake's mother. "Cameron sang (along with) every song that he did and clapped and yelled when he performed different dance steps," reports our source, who says Diaz "really screamed and yelled" during a part of the concert when Timberlake was lifted above the audience with a crane.

"During most of his slower songs, she was just gazing at him like he was the love of her life," according to the source. There was one song, however, that Diaz didn't seem to enjoy: "Cry Me a River," which is reportedly about how Timberlake's ex-sweetie, Britney Spears, cheated on him. "She seemed uninterested in that performance," reports our source, "and spent all of that song chatting away to his mom and the guy that was with them." Reps for the stars had no comments (msnbc.com)

Oh Lord…I seriously hope Penny's English just wasn't working well. She can't be this stupid, can she?

Who is making Penelope Cruz's film choices? Some in Hollywood are wondering if the gorgeous Spanish actress's career can be saved in the wake of a string of clunkers, including "Captain Corelli's Mandolin," "Vanilla "Sky" and "Fanfan la tulipe." Now Cruz has landed a new role in a film called "Don't Move" and her description of her character doesn't bode well. "Her father has been raping her since she was 12 years old," Cruz tells El Pais, "and that's why, when [another character] rapes her, she is even a little pleased because he is a surgeon. A man from a higher social class." (msnbc.com)

Read this story, my comments will follow…

Barbara and Jenna Bush mingled with the wild men of Lollapalooza the other night at The Deck at Pier 59. The fun-loving First Twins asked one of their Secret Service minders to introduce them to hunky Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell, who happened to be celebrating his birthday at the hotspot with girlfriend Vicky Karayiannis, a Paris-based publicist. Cornell and fellow Lollapalooza rockers Jane's Addiction (who brought along their sexy backup dancers), Incubus and Jurassic 5 dug into an acoustic-guitar-shaped birthday cake. (Page Six)
THAT'S IT?! C'mon Page Six, were they drinking? Smoking? The story is that they were "mingling?" What a disappointment.

Does anyone in the US care about Kylie Minogue?

Taking Lives co-stars Angelina Jolie and Olivier Martinez are in the midst of an awkward situation - after his furious lover Kylie Minogue arrived on set to keep an eye on them. The "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" star was left devastated by reports that her French hunk and the Tomb Raider beauty have become inseparable. And pictures from the Montreal, Canada set show Kylie and Olivier looking miserable in each other's company - as they try to salvage their troubled relationship. A source says, "It was certainly a tense day. Everyone had heard the rumors about Angelina and Olivier and were waiting to see what happened. Kylie arrived early and went straight to Olivier's trailer. There were no raised voices but neither of them looked too happy. It was ironic that Kylie was here on the day Olivier and Angelina were filming their scenes together. It was obvious Kylie came here to keep an eye on Olivier and to see for herself if anything has been going on." One of Kylie's pals adds, "She trusts Olivier - more so than any man in a long time. But she wanted to hear the facts from the horse's mouth." (imdb.com)

Mmmmm….Jude Law is close to making the celebrity boyfriends list.

Forget Sadie Frost or Nicole Kidman - Jude Law was celebrating being single and unattached in Malibu on Saturday. At Stephen Dorff's party at Tony's Taverna, Law hung out with Sharon Stone, Dennis Quaid, Courteney Cox and David Arquette and Natalie Imbruglia. "Jude came with Johnny Lee Miller and talked to all the girls," our spy reports. "Let's just put it this way: He is very single." Later at Dorff's house, Luke Wilson showed with his new girlfriend - a mystery brunette with a shoulder tattoo he met at Sean "Puffy" Combs' MTV party last month. "Luke wouldn't let anyone get near her - he was very protective," our tipster says. David Spade also had a party that night at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica that catered to the couple crowd. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher came with Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, who jumped on stage and did some AC/DC covers. Pete Berg and Estella Warren also came, prompting a pal of Berg to note: "It is good to see him so happy. He spent a lot of time going back and forth to his ex-wife." (Page Six)

I couldn't agree with this more! I used to really like Brittany Murphy - but after "Just Married" and the Ashton debacle I can barely stand to look at her.

Poor Brittany Murphy. The starlet who was so good in "8 Mile" has taken a wrong turn with "Uptown Girl," say insiders at aintitcoolnews.com who've seen previews. "If I was taking a long plane ride someday and this film was the featured movie, I'd jump without a 'chute," wrote one amateur reviewer. "I didn't think Brittany Murphy could get on my nerves more than she did in 'Just Married,' but right now she is the queen of annoying in my book . . . these attempts at appealing to the masses aren't her bag, man. She's a freak. Embrace that part of yourself, Brit." (Page Six)

Hey, what's with these "Everyone Loves a German Girl" t-shirts? I saw one this weekend!

Carson Daly lost a few fans Sunday when he and his entourage bullied their way to the head of the Customs line at JFK. Daly was with a model in an "Everyone Loves a German Girl" T-shirt and a couple of pals. They pushed their way to the front of the line and told those who protested to "shut the [bleep] up," a fellow traveler tells us. "They were rude and arrogant . . . Unfortunately, there weren't any cops around to stop them, so they got away with it." (Page Six)

Just when I think my crush on Eminem is easing up…*sigh*

Rap superstar Eminem has vowed never to marry again -- after speaking for the first time about his heartbreaking divorce from childhood sweetheart Kim Scott. The rapper first met Kim when they were both teenagers and their 11 year relationship produced his only child, daughter Hailie, 7. And despite their attempts to rekindle their love earlier this year, Eminem is now sure that they are finished for good, a fact that makes him very sad. He says, "Divorce is the hardest thing I've ever worked through. Not that I'm bitter or anything like that. I'm a better person because I went through it but it was hard at first. "I've known this chick all my life -- she's the first true girlfriend that I've ever had. You grow up with this person, then they want to leave you. At first you don't know what to do. "You put the blame on everything. I put the blame on myself, my career. But as I got through it, I stepped back and looked at the whole picture. I realized it wasn't my fault -- there was nothing I could have done. "It's cool. Me and Kim are on speaking terms. We can communicate, no hard feelings. It just didn't work. No more marriage. I don't want to experience that again." (SFGate.com)

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Past Columns:
September 12: Britney retreads Christina.
September 5: Scientologist superstars sign their freedoms away.
August 29: Arghnold says Oui to orgies.
August 22: In P. Diddy she trusts.
August 17: Courtney Love: The horror! The horror!
August 8: Who's wearing a Red Lobster bib with his thong?
August 1: Everyone loves a washed-up MTV hack.
July 28: Chris Penn puts a midget in his place.