My Prayers will involve GWB tonight

Your calendar might have omitted an important holiday. Today is the National Day of Prayer! To celebrate, our current president is participating in a three-hour television special tonight.

"We're in an election year, and we believe God cares who's in those positions of authority," said Mark Fried, spokesman for the National Day of Prayer Task Force. "But we're not endorsing a candidate -- just praying that God's hand will be on the election."

The widow of the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ expresses her admiration for Bush this way: "I don't think he has a political agenda of his own. I think he's really trying to do what would please God."

I won't pick on a poor widow by pointing out the idiocy of saying the president -- ANY president -- has a political agenda. But I do have a suggestion.

Why not add a fourth branch of government? The executive, congressional, and judicial branches are always squabbling in their quest for power. Let's solve this once and for all by introducing the DIVINE BRANCH. Take that, Rehnquist! Fuck you, Frist! Eat me, Bush! God is in the house.