Dispatch from Southwestern Florida

Dear Tobias,

I trust you're doing well. I wanted to write a note to tell you how excited I am about my recent trip to Florida. I got a sexy purple sunburn on the Southwest Florida's many beaches. I ate from the delicious chain restaurants dotting the lush tropical landscape. I watched an overalls-clad female screech in horror at the condition of a port-a-potty. I enthusiastically scratched mosquito bites I received while airboating through the Everglades.

However, here's the most exciting part. I know you study reptiles and amphibians, so I trust you'll be pleased to note that I have learned a great deal about alligators and their natural habitat. Upon landing at the airport in Florida, I picked up several nature guides, which described to me in vivid color the many behaviors, and, dare I say, hobbies, of those misunderstood rough-backed ruffians, the alligators.

I hope you won't mind, but I have affixed (below) several illustrations from the guides with notes on my learnings as well as a few questions. I look forward to discussing these delightful creatures with you at length sometime soon.

Your friend,
Jennifer

1. I was astonished to learn that, not only do alligators love to play golf, they enjoy playing in both standing and prone positions.

This third photograph is apparently the habitat in which they prefer to "hit the links," so to speak.

2. Through careful study of these two illustrations, I learned that alligators are not only the attraction at nature tours -- they're often the guides! The alligators I saw on the airboat tour, however, were indeed the attractions, and they did not wear straw hats. I inquired of the guide about this, but he was occupied feeding marshmallows to the gators in our vicinity and did not seem to hear me. I defer to your superior knowledge on this question.

3. Upon purchasing a sugary refreshment, I noticed that, ever conscious of the eco-tourist's thirst for knowledge, the manufacturer had printed "Nature Facts" on the side of its packaging. Imagine my surprise to learn that, in addition to small furry animals and cuddly babies, alligators like to eat another of Florida's greatest resources -- oranges! In this illustration, he appears to be hoarding the oranges for himself. Alligators are apparently quite territorial and seem to enjoy eating an armful of oranges in solitude. You may know the answer to my one question, however. Do alligators actually chew gum, as well? I would think their long, sharp teeth and prominent, expressive tongues would make chewing gum inconvenient.

I look forward to your comment and replies to the above questions. As you can imagine, I'm quite excited about all this new knowledge. Alligators are indeed a fascinating species with a diverse array of interests and occupations.